"I don't believe in long distance relationships"

is something I say a lot but often times I find myself in them. Haha.

Disclaimer* this is not about romantic relationships. I don't have much to comment when it comes to those.

Two days ago, it was Mother's Day in the states and Parents' Day in the motherland. I've been used to this whole deal of being motherless and fatherless (yeah I'm being dramatic), but maybe because I've been missing my parents so much these days, I felt a little sad. But it's okay, I couldn't even wallow in my sadness for too long because midterms took over my life and I had to be stuck at Powell for hours.

Like I said before, I find myself in long distance relationships a lot.

My parents live in Seoul, Korea.

My sisters live in San Francisco (one of them used to be in Hong Kong until January of this year).

I myself am always abroad whether it be Korea/Europe/Missions.

And the phenomenon about long distance relationships is that the saying "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" is indeed true. It's only after I moved out of home that I truly appreciate my parents (hence the previous post). I've also noticed that my friend S and I actually keep in touch a lot more when we are in different continents. Even with a short distance, I see relationships being a lot more intentional. My friends, S, A, and I don't live near each other, so we've designated Friday mornings to grab a meal and catch up. And because we know that if it's not Friday mornings, we cannot see each other, we always prioritize our rendezvous on Friday mornings.

But what I've learned about long distance relationships too is that with distance, you miss out on the little details of each other's lives. This is especially true for the case of my parents and me. My parents always ask me "How are you doing Jane?" via Kakao/email/on the phone but I often find myself just saying "응 난 잘 지내~ 걱정마 (I am doing well~ Don't worry about me)".

I encompass all the little ups and downs I've been going through under this one phrase, "I am doing well. Don't worry about me." I leave out the little details like how I felt misunderstood and so alone this one day and just wanted a big fat hug from my dad. I intentionally don't mention the fact that I've been sick here and there throughout the last few weeks because it's going to do no good for my mom. And often times I fail to tell them that I still miss them and need them like a little kid and that I am tired of pretending to be an adult, but instead I just say "응 난 잘지내~ 걱정마."

Yeah it's not not true that I am doing well and that they shouldn't worry about me. Really, they shouldn't haha. But I guess it saddens me a little that I am growing up, that we are all growing up, and they can't really be there to witness it.

But it's okay :'). I am still so very grateful for the times we get to spend together. One more month!!

Below is a cover done by my very talented friend Vivian! Everyone should go listen to her!

Vivian Byeon- Mama Don't Worry (Cover)

서울의 밤 바다 건너의 밤

멀리 있어도 우린 행복해

보고싶은 밤 모두 궁금한 밤

어디 있어도 우린 행복해

And now I should go back to reality and write my midterm paper.. Goodbye!